4DP5DT

The cramps subsided yesterday afternoon. Went back to feeling pretty normal other than some bloating. So ofcourse started freaking out that this cycle failed because I can’t feel anything anymore.


P-stick came out negative this morning. Full expected that. I also fully expect to see them start to turn positive in the next few days. 

Sigh. I just need the emotional roller coaster to stop already.

 

3DP5DT

Also known as 6 days till beta day. Nothing new to report.

Continue to feel bloated. Feels like there is a constant pressure on my uterus, especially on the left side. That’s it. Had to unbutton my pants half way through the day yesterday because the bloating got so uncomfortable. I didn’t realize how bloated I was getting. Going to stick to stretchy pants and dresses now.

Starting to think this is all just side effects of the prometrium…

Was tempted to POAS this morning. But I resisted. Tomorrow perhaps.


Pineapple core power activate!

2DP5DT

Can’t tell if its all in my head or something is actually happening.

I have a lower back ache on my left side since last night, and my lower belly just feels achy and bloated all day long. ┬áThis morning I swear I felt a cramp on my left side. DH says I’m just being hyper sensitive. Hard to argue that I am not.

This morning my panty liner had one tiny drop of blood. I’m going to run with that and say that it is the start of implantation bleeding and that this is working. Little Embaby is burrowing like a good embaby should. I keep visualizing the embryo burrowing and finding a good blood supply to start growing.

I’ve decided to just think positive. Every thing I feel is a sign that this is working. Even if is all in my head, positive thinking never hurt anyone right?

Just for my own sanity here is what my research tells me happens after a 5DT:

0dpt… Embryo is a blastocyst
1dpt….Blastocyst hatches out of shell
2dpt.. Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining
3dpt.. Implantation begins, as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining
4dpt.. Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
5dpt.. Morula is completely implanted in the lining and has placenta cells &
fetal cells
6dpt…Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood
7dpt…More HCG is produced as fetus develops
8dpt…More HCG is produced as fetus develops
9dpt…HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on
HPT

For me, 9DP5DT is beta day. Of course this is not an exact science and it could just be a late bloomer and start hatching now… only time will tell…

And so we wait.

1DP5DT

I feel nothing. Still early I know. I keep thinking every little twinge is something. I literally cant stop thinking about it. I think going to work tomorrow will help take my mind off things a bit.


The clinic called earlier today. There was one embryo that made it to freeze. So we have one more chance at this. The embryologist said that this was in line with the average for a donor cycle. One to transfer, one to freeze. I wish there was more. But not much I can do about it.

I dont think we will try again after this. So this is it for us. I still firmly believe that if it is meant to be we will succeed this time around. And if not, then we need to move on. It is just not what our future has in store. DH feels the same way. Although he is way more hopeful about this cycle than I am.

And so we wait.


 

 

PUPO!

I never thought I could even get this far! If this is as pregnant as I will ever be, then this is pretty damn exciting and I am going to relish it as much as I can!

All three embryos were looking good today. One grading at a 1BB (which apparently is pretty good). That was the lucky one. The other two were at 1BC and 1 CC. 

They are going to watch those for one more day to see if they are freezable. I will get a call tomorrow to confirm. 

The actual procedure was uneventful. We were scheduled for 10am. But didn’t get to the actual transfer till about 11. So it was a lot of waiting. The worst part was inserting the catheter through the cervix. It felt so crampy. Oh and also holding my pee in the whole time! 

Now the wait. Beta blood test is scheduled for June 15. Im planning to p-test starting Saturday (4dp5dt) and probably will test daily till beta day. 

Drug wise I’m to continue the prometrium (200mg three times a day) and estrace (6mg – 1 pill in the morning 2 pills at night) until beta test day. 

DH is positive this will work. I’m not ready to think about what if he is wrong. For now I want to believe this is working. Time to start over analyzing symptoms and eat copious amounts of pineapple. 

That’s my uterus. The little flash in the middle of the ultrasound image contains the embryo. 

#MicroblogMonday: Pee sticks

Bought pee sticks this weekend. 

Believe it or not, I’ve never done that before. I know. 36 and never had a pregnancy scare. I’m a freak. Thank you premature menopause. 

It felt weird even being in that aisle. Just so foreign to me. And what does the cashier think when she sees me buying 4 boxes? 

This is probably the first thing I’ve done (aside from paying for the DE for this cycle) that makes this feel real. Like there could be a baby in our future. I’ve managed to avoid falling into the rabbit hole of purchasing any physical reminders so far. It’s scary to have to aknowledge it. I guess I could have avoided this too and just wait till beta day. But let’s be real. I don’t have the will power to wait. I will probably be peeing on a stick daily staring 4dp5dt if not sooner. 

Decided to go with the ever popular FRER. I also bought the drugstore brand ones too. But when I looked at the price difference it’s only a few  bucks so I think I will just return those and get FRER all around. Just for the peace of mind. Another uncomfortable drug store trip In my future. Maybe I can send DH instead? 

Check out more #microblogmonday at stirrup queens