Category: DE IVF

BFN

As expected. I’m upset. But also it is what I predicted would happen so I really shouldn’t be so upset. 

Made my WTF appointment for next week. Will likely already have my period by then. So likely won’t start the next round till end of July at the earliest. Depending on what the doc says. 

I think it might be worth doing some more tests to see if there is anything else we can do to boost our chances. Plus it gives DH time to fully recover. 

Hoping our luck turns for the next one. 

8DP5DT

Also known as last day of being PUPO. 

Tomorrow is beta day. I decided not to add to my pee stick graveyard today. Mostly because I ran out, and have been spending all my time in the hospital with DH so I haven’t had time to go to the drug store. 

DH is doing ok. He is in a lot of pain as all his mucous membranes are basically desquamating (basically shedding off the top layer of skin). It’s like being burned from the inside out. He is in good spirits though. And his parents are arriving tonight so hopefully he will feel better having more family around. 

7DP5DT – and the DH update

It’s a sorry lookin’ pee stick graveyard:


Still very negative. 

Still sad.

I am less sure this has worked now. Until yesterday I believed my symptoms could be the start of pregnancy. And it was too early to really see results. I know there is still a chance. But I’m just not feeling it anymore. Literally and emotionally. 

Cramps are much less. Only when I insert the prometrium for about an hour or so. No heaviness or pain. Low back pain has subsided. It was bad the past few days. No spotting. No nausea. Heartburn has been bad the past few days. But that not new for me. I get it pretty regularly, this time it just seems much worse. That’s probably because I haven’t been taking my medication for it due to PUPO. I’ve got insomnia but that’s probably for an entirely different reason. So overall nothing much to report. 

Beta test is in 2 days and I’m not holding out too much hope other than if it’s positive then it would be a nice surprise. And honestly DH and I could use some good news right now. But if it isn’t. That’s fine too. It won’t bother me that much anymore. Probably too preoccupied worrying about DH to worry about myself.

DH should stabilize by the end of the week and be sent home. His recovery will likely take a few weeks more. Apparently it’s a 7week full recovery. But he should be past the worst of it in a week or so. 

He has SJS. Which is essentially a very severe allergic reaction to an antibiotic he was taking. It’s rare, but happens. It looks like it has not worsened since yesterday so hopefully he is on the way to recovery. There was a danger of it spreading more and his body going septic. Some infection has even reached his cornea and if it spread it could blind him. But he’s on treatment so it seems to have stopped spreading. 

 The treatment is corticosteroids and immunosuppressive treatment so his body stops attacking itself and can start healing. His skin will be peeling off, almost like a burn victim, and then he will heal. There should not be any permanent damage. 

It sucks. But he is a trooper. He’s in great spirits and the pain has subsided so that is an improvement.

His parents are going to arrive on Wednesday so it will be nice to have more hands to help. And I’m sure he will feel better with more family around. 

 My work has been very understanding. I told my president I would attend my meetings this week and then go home. He understands. So no stress there. My new assistant started yesterday so I went in for a half day yesterday to show her the ropes. I feel bad leaving her on her own without much support for the first week. But it is what it is. I’m trying to address any urgent concerns in the next day or two and then I can focus on DH and be available remotely if anything comes up. 

It’s going to be a crazy next few weeks. 

6DP5DT- distractions

First things first. Still negative: 

Next. Yesterday ended up being much more of an distraction that I bargained for. 

DH has been sick with a skin infection for over a week now. Last Friday he went to see the family doc who prescribed him some strong antibiotics and pain meds. Essentially it was a bad staph infection. 

After about 4 days the infection didn’t seem to get better and he went to see the doc again. They told him to keep at the antibiotics (14 day course) and it should resolve. 

On Friday. Still wasn’t better and now it had spread to his genitals. It was getting very painful. He went to the ER. They gave him a topical cream and told him to keep on going with the antibiotics (about half way into it by then). 

Then yesterday he woke up with hives on his hands and swollen lips and blood shot eyes. Like a serious allergic reaction. 

We got him some Benadryl but after a few hrs the hives were spreading and his throat started swelling. So we rushed him to the ER.

Turns out he had a reaction to the meds and has Steven johnsons symdrome. Basically he was poisoning his body with the antibiotics and finally his body started reacting. It’s very rare but can be very serious. So he is admitted in hospital and is awaiting a few specialists to come see him today. 

Oh. Did I mention this was all on his birthday? Poor guy can’t catch a break. He’s in good spirits but is in a lot of pain. We are happy he’s in hospital and getting the care he needs. I’m going into work this morn so I can wrap up some things and spend a couple of days with him. At least until he comes home.

I mean. That’s one way to distract yourself from the craziness of a 2ww. 

4DP5DT

The cramps subsided yesterday afternoon. Went back to feeling pretty normal other than some bloating. So ofcourse started freaking out that this cycle failed because I can’t feel anything anymore.


P-stick came out negative this morning. Full expected that. I also fully expect to see them start to turn positive in the next few days. 

Sigh. I just need the emotional roller coaster to stop already.

 

3DP5DT

Also known as 6 days till beta day. Nothing new to report.

Continue to feel bloated. Feels like there is a constant pressure on my uterus, especially on the left side. That’s it. Had to unbutton my pants half way through the day yesterday because the bloating got so uncomfortable. I didn’t realize how bloated I was getting. Going to stick to stretchy pants and dresses now.

Starting to think this is all just side effects of the prometrium…

Was tempted to POAS this morning. But I resisted. Tomorrow perhaps.


Pineapple core power activate!

2DP5DT

Can’t tell if its all in my head or something is actually happening.

I have a lower back ache on my left side since last night, and my lower belly just feels achy and bloated all day long.  This morning I swear I felt a cramp on my left side. DH says I’m just being hyper sensitive. Hard to argue that I am not.

This morning my panty liner had one tiny drop of blood. I’m going to run with that and say that it is the start of implantation bleeding and that this is working. Little Embaby is burrowing like a good embaby should. I keep visualizing the embryo burrowing and finding a good blood supply to start growing.

I’ve decided to just think positive. Every thing I feel is a sign that this is working. Even if is all in my head, positive thinking never hurt anyone right?

Just for my own sanity here is what my research tells me happens after a 5DT:

0dpt… Embryo is a blastocyst
1dpt….Blastocyst hatches out of shell
2dpt.. Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining
3dpt.. Implantation begins, as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining
4dpt.. Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
5dpt.. Morula is completely implanted in the lining and has placenta cells &
fetal cells
6dpt…Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood
7dpt…More HCG is produced as fetus develops
8dpt…More HCG is produced as fetus develops
9dpt…HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on
HPT

For me, 9DP5DT is beta day. Of course this is not an exact science and it could just be a late bloomer and start hatching now… only time will tell…

And so we wait.

1DP5DT

I feel nothing. Still early I know. I keep thinking every little twinge is something. I literally cant stop thinking about it. I think going to work tomorrow will help take my mind off things a bit.

The clinic called earlier today. There was one embryo that made it to freeze. So we have one more chance at this. The embryologist said that this was in line with the average for a donor cycle. One to transfer, one to freeze. I wish there was more. But not much I can do about it.

I dont think we will try again after this. So this is it for us. I still firmly believe that if it is meant to be we will succeed this time around. And if not, then we need to move on. It is just not what our future has in store. DH feels the same way. Although he is way more hopeful about this cycle than I am.

And so we wait.


 

 

PUPO!

I never thought I could even get this far! If this is as pregnant as I will ever be, then this is pretty damn exciting and I am going to relish it as much as I can!

All three embryos were looking good today. One grading at a 1BB (which apparently is pretty good). That was the lucky one. The other two were at 1BC and 1 CC. 

They are going to watch those for one more day to see if they are freezable. I will get a call tomorrow to confirm. 

The actual procedure was uneventful. We were scheduled for 10am. But didn’t get to the actual transfer till about 11. So it was a lot of waiting. The worst part was inserting the catheter through the cervix. It felt so crampy. Oh and also holding my pee in the whole time! 

Now the wait. Beta blood test is scheduled for June 15. Im planning to p-test starting Saturday (4dp5dt) and probably will test daily till beta day. 

Drug wise I’m to continue the prometrium (200mg three times a day) and estrace (6mg – 1 pill in the morning 2 pills at night) until beta test day. 

DH is positive this will work. I’m not ready to think about what if he is wrong. For now I want to believe this is working. Time to start over analyzing symptoms and eat copious amounts of pineapple. 

That’s my uterus. The little flash in the middle of the ultrasound image contains the embryo.