Until my day 14 lining check appointment this past saturday, I was more apprehensiveness about the whole thing. It didn’t feel like this was really happening until I heard them say ‘lets plan for a thaw next weekend’.
Now my brain is processing that this is actually for real.
It is a weird feeling to be hopeful yet still fearful of the outcome. My brain goes through such random swings:
- Ok so this is happening. Lining is 0.72. That’s crazy good for me. And chances of success are so much better than lining of 0.6.
- Still not a lining of 0.8 or higher. So chances are not that great. Better, but not great.
- If this all works, it is a major shift in life as we know it. Are we really ready for this? Am I ready for this? This place is so not baby proof.
- Is anyone 100% ready? We are prepared. Plus we will have so much help from all the family and friends around us. And there is still time.
- But will my body be able to handle the next 9 months? I don’t even know what to expect. I need to start googling these things.
- I know I need to be careful about exerting myself and my diet. I am going to miss working out and lifting weights. And sushi. Must eat my fill of sushi this week.
- I will still workout, just need to modify slightly. I will speak to my trainer about it.
- But no need to tell her yet, I mean we don’t even know if the embryo is going to stick yet.
- Do pregnant women colour their hair? Should I cancel my hair colour appointment scheduled for the end of June? Just to avoid the chemicals while I am in my first trimester?
- No I will keep it. Chances are this first time won’t work since my body won’t know what to do. No point in being sad and having ugly roots…
And so on…
I end up going through random emotional swings in my head and then just feeling numb like I just need to go through the motions right now, and I will have proper feelings about it once it is all over and I know the outcome.
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