Telling work: the aftermath

So…starting to feel the repercussions of telling people at work.

The HR Manager keeps saying things the allude to the fact that I might be pregnant really soon. I’m considering buying a dress online and debating sizes,  ‘It’s probably better to get the loose one since you might need that in a few months’. There’s lots of hypotheticals like: ‘if you get pregnant will you do XYZ…’ or ‘We have [some] tradition when a new baby is born, do you guys do the same thing?’. Woman has some serious baby fever (and she’s well over 50!).

Yesterday we were at a dinner and drinks with some other colleagues, just talking about random stuff, and the conversation got a bit weird.  One of them (a new transfer from head office who invited us all out for dinner, I will call him LP) said ‘you should have kids! they will be cute!’ HR Manager responds with ‘from your lips to gods ears’. Another person says, ‘but who will handle all of our contracts if shes off taking care of a baby?’ (I like that person). HR Manager: ‘it’s OK by that time all our major contracts will be done for this project’.

Sooooo many things wrong with that interaction, but it just made me laugh.

First of all no one else at dinner was aware I am even trying to get pregnant, and HR Manager totally made it sound like I am already expecting. So much for keeping it on the DL. Also there is plenty of work, if I leave for a year they will definitely need a better succession plan. There are several projects in the pipeline so I doubt the work will stop ore even slow down if and when I am away.

And then there is LP. The comically inappropriate coworker. He moved to Canada for the first time about 2 months ago as a transferee. Obviously he does not have any clue about our social norms and what you can and cannot talk about with work collegues. We were out at another work event a few weeks ago, and he got a bit drunk and told me how beautiful he thought I was. Mildly inappropriate for a work event, no? I just laughed it off. And then the comment about having kids. It is all following the same vein really. He clearly thinks I am not too bad to look at.

I do cut him a lot of slack. He is new to Canada and his English is not amazing. It is obvious he is not trying to be flirtatious. It is just his way of trying to compliment me. He is just trying to build a good working relationship with his collegues, but his methods are a bit unorthodox.

This man obviously has no filter when he’s been drinking, so it all comes out wrong and could very easily be taken the wrong way. Thankfully I just found it all very funny last night. I will enjoy the compliment and leave it at that.

But I did learn that apparently both LP and HR Manager are dying to see me have a baby. Yet neither are aware of how difficult it will actually be for me, and that any child will not have any of my genetic features. I think that would be a little over their heads to be honest.

I don’t regret telling work. I am just amused at the reactions I am getting.

So for now, I am enjoying it for what it is. This is that blissful stage full of possibilities that has so much hope. I imagine it is almost like when a couple decides to toss out the birth control and try for a baby for the first time. That exciting, will we or wont we get pregnant feeling. Except without all of the planning, cycle monitoring, drugs, doctors and risks. It is nice to see how excited I should be through other peoples eyes. Watching how hopeful others are for me is sweet and does remind me to keep the hope alive.


One thought on “Telling work: the aftermath

  1. I’m glad the comments aren’t bothering you but your HR manager needs to slow way down and not be saying such things! I guess with donor egg transfers the odds are much higher than normal IVF but there’s still a long way to go. Sounds like your new colleague is just trying to be nice but hopefully his comments won’t get too inappropriate. I had a Russian guy at work tell me I was smelling nice that day and asking whether I got a new perfume, which I felt was a little strange for work colleague to comment on.

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