Telling work

I haven’t told work about our upcoming IVF cycle.

Not that I don’t want to. My plan was always to tell them as soon as we were sure we were going through a cycle.

But that happened at the end of January. That also happened to be right when our annual reviews are being completed, which will determine our raises and bonuses for the year. Also I would like to ask for a raise this year. I feel I deserve it. I have worked hard, helped us resolve some major challenges and have not received a cost of living increase in two years. I believe that at the very least I should get a raise equivalent to inflation.

With that in mind, I thought it might be best to wait till after I have my performance review and salary/bonus discussion to tell them my future plans.

I mean this:

“Hi. Just wanted to let you know, I am planning a possible pregnancy through IVF and will need some extra time off during the day to allow me to go to appointments in the next few months. Oh also I would like a raise, even though I will be in the office less, on huge amounts of hormones that will make me a bucket load of fun to work with this year, and, if all goes well, will be going on mat leave next year.”

Doesn’t quite sound like it will be met with much enthusiasm from my employer.

I know legally they can’t penalize me or fire me for going through IVF. Also we recently experienced a lot of employee turnover due to some pretty bad management in other departments, so it is highly unlikely that they will do anything as drastic as fire me or even do something to cause me to consider leaving now. Plus my boss just had a baby of his own, so I’m guessing he’s a bit of a softy when it comes to family planning right now. So there really is no reason for the paranoia. But I am just being cautious.

I should find out about my review and bonus etc by the end of this month. Once that is all out of the way I will let HR and the president (my boss) know about our IVF plans. That being said, I wish I could tell them now since I have to miss some work to see the therapist on Monday and will need to go in for a hysteroscopy in the next week or so. It makes life so much easier when everything isn’t a secret.

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2 thoughts on “Telling work

  1. I didn’t actually tell my work during my first two rounds of IVF. I managed to mainly get early appointments before work and then I took a few days off sick around the egg retrieval. For my third round I did tell and though the HR manager was really nice and supportive I found things a bit awkward with my manager and I was actually wishing I hadn’t told him!

    1. That is interesting. I hope it isnt too awkward for me. Our company is so small I don’t think I would be able to get away with not telling them. Plus I sit in the same office as the HR manager so that is going to be even harder to hide!

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