#MicroblogMonday: The one that isn’t so micro

Totally cheating. There is nothing micro about this post.

A few things happened this past week that basically made it my week from hell.

The week started off with a meeting called by the condo owners of the condo I live in. I am on the board along with two other owners. This being a newly formed condo the first year is ripe with issues including some serious budgeting issues we inherited from the builder of our condo. As a board we decided to raise fees so that we are not operating in a deficit. Suffice to say, people don’t like paying more money and thought we needed to be voted off.

Personally, this is a volunteer position and I spend way too much time correcting our incompetent condo management team’s job. We even had them replace the manager since she was really f-ing things up. Which likely was a part of the general discontent. If the majority voted me out. I would not have any problem with it and would welcome the free time. However, the reasons for the vote were based on rumors and lies spread by one angry owner (he accused board members of violating rules which none of us have done). So on principle it just didn’t make sense to let him win.

Anyways. The small group of angry owners thought that by calling for a vote they could boot us off. Unfortunately for them, they also needed over 50% votes in their favour and only 25% of owners even bothered to show up (the voting requirements are all set out according to provincial legislation – not one owner at the meeting was aware of this). Also at the meeting it became apparent that the reasons for the meeting were based on lies spread by the instigator and a few owners came to the board’s defense. In the end the meeting was a complete waste of everyone’s time and money all thanks to a handful of owners who called the meeting without knowing the rules. A small win for us, but unlikely to really change the minds of those that are unhappy.

It was a brutal meeting.

Next up my husband found out the results of his exam that would basically determine if he is applying for residencies this year. He failed. Unfortunately, this means he misses the cut off for residency applications for this cycle, and we need to wait another year until the next cycle.

On top of it all the poor guy had another exam scheduled for this Saturday. In general he is not great at taking exams. He gets some serious anxiety and tends to choke. See above exam results. When doing practice exams he was scoring well above what his actual results are. It is incredibly frustrating for him and doesn’t help his self esteem Im sure.

So he decided to take a break from studying (he’s been going non stop for over 2 years now) and just take a few months off to regroup. He is also going to see someone about the anxiety, which I am really happy about. I honestly believe that is what is preventing him from doing well. He has all the knowledge in his brain, he just needs to calm his mind during an exam so he can access it.

It sucks that this sets us back by a whole year. It means we continue on my one income for one more year than expected. And it will make paying for IVF next year a bit harder to achieve since we don’t have his income to help offset the costs. That being said, his mental health is important and that comes first. It is a minor setback in the grand scheme of things.

And then I finally had a chance to start to have the IVF planning talk with him this weekend. In the past few months it has been hard to have this chat with him since he has been so focused on exams.Now that exams are no longer a concern and he is taking a break, we can start talking about what we both want. In the past most conversations would start with me approaching the subject, and him making a joke about kids being annoying/too much work/he is enough of a kid for the both of us etc. Most of the time I agree and would joke along with him.  But I finally told him we needed to really talk about this.

In the end, he feels that spending over $30,000 on something that is not guaranteed is just a waste. And I do agree with him. But my heart keeps saying that if there is a remote chance, I need to give it a try. At least then I can say I gave it my all, and if then it doesn’t work, then that is what is meant to be for us. He says we should spend the money on adoption instead. From a practicality standpoint it makes sense. Except my heart isn’t in it. I feel like if IVF is out. Then having kids is out for me.

Even if my lining barely makes it to 0.7mm, even if we have no way of knowing if the embryo’s will even stick, or that my uterus can handle it all. I still feel that if there is a small chance of this working, then we need to give it our all.

So the issue is still unresolved. He is obviously worried about the money and to him that is reason enough not to try. He has always been the frugal one, and it is one of the reasons why we work because I am not as easily swayed by financial concerns. But I cant agree with him on this one. I is just too big an issue to just give up. I also believe that with him taking a break and delaying residency for one more year, this is making him even more conscious about the money we will be spending so it won’t make it easier to get him to agree to a $30,000 expenditure.

In the end nothing has really changed yet. We are still waiting for IVF funding date. Waiting for my sister to wean her son off breast milk. And now I am waiting to have one more conversation with DH about IVF to see if we can both get on the same page.

He’s finishing up his clinical rotation out of town at the end of the month then he will be home for a few months. I hope we can really talk about this and figure out what we both want. We should probably also have a conversation with my sister about her plans once again so we can understand their timeline too and how it impacts ours.




#MicroblogMonday: Money Matters

Now that an IVF cycle is likely to occur in my future, I thought it was about time I actually started to look at the dollars and cents that will go into this endevour. Both AG and I are well aware that this will cost us a pretty penny (and if I am honest, I am still really bitter about the fact that other people can do it for free and end up with a baby they don’t even want. Ugh. Oh well. Play with the cards you are dealt, amirite?)

So exactly how much will it cost?

Based on the 2016 costs for DE IVF posted by my clinic online, this is what I am budgeting for next year (Canadian Dollars, of course):

  1. Admin Fee – $350
  2. Medical Assessment for ED sis – $1,100
  3. ED IVF Cycle (includes one FET if all are frozen at retrieval time) – $12,000
  4. Mock Cycle ($500 ea, I’m estimating I will need 3 to get my lining going) – $1,500
  5. Embryo Freezing – $750
  6. FET ($2,250 each time, I am estimating at least 3) – $6,750
  7. Counselling (mandatory) – $450
  8. Storage Fee for Embryos (assuming 3 years) – $1,200
  9. Pre-implantation genetic screening (PGS) – I could not find pricing info online – not sure I will need this, but it is an option so I will keep it on the list) – unknown?
  10. Drugs, acupuncture etc. – for both myself and ED sis- approx $1,500 for first cycle and about $700 for subsequent cycles for me only (assuming we get three tries) – approx. $3,000
  11. Reimbursement for ED Sis (travel, missing work, child care etc.) – $1,500

Total approx: $28,600

Now if we proceed with a government funded cycle everything, except drugs, any additional testing (e.g. PGS), and reimbursement for ED sis, will be paid by the government. So a funded cycle will cost me closer to $4,500. I know. Crazy right?

You can see the appeal of a funded cycle. But I am not going to hold out for that just yet. For now, we will proceed as if we are paying for a complete cycle ourselves. If the timing works out, then we will just happen to have $25,000 to spend on something else. Not a bad problem to have.

Our food, clothing, travel and entertainment budget just got a whole lot smaller.

Want more #MicroblogMonday? Go visit Stirrup Queens.