I’m filing this in the TMI category of posts. Things that I want to ask, but am too afraid to say out loud. It is gonna get mighty yucky.
First, my favourite blue discharge. I have spoken many times about the darn blue discharge from taking vaginal estrace. That is not a problem (well, it is one I can live with at least). The problem I am finding is when I shove my 2 pills up there and about half an hour later the discharge is so heavy it basically looks like an entire pill disintegrated and fell out. Once I even shoved 2 up and when I went to wash my hands a half disintegrated pill was stuck to my finger. Was that an old one or the new one? Who knows?
What do you do in this situation? Does this mean that the pill did not absorb properly and now my dosage is all off? Do I put another one in just in case? Or just wait till the next time? I would hate for this to mean that the entire cycle was a bust. Taking the pills at night doesn’t seem to result in discharge because I try to do it as the very last thing before I lie down so that gravity is on my side. But in the morning I don’t have time to lie around for an hour to allow absorption. So some mornings I have noticed more discharge than usual. What do I do? Just let it go and hope for the best? Wake up an hour earlier shove a couple of pills in and go back to sleep? How quickly does absorption work in the vagina? Is this something I should be asking my nurse? I feel like this is a really stupid question and all she will say is ‘just push it up higher’. (Trust me it’s as far as I can reach. I’m a small girl, my fingers can only go so far).
Second, the darn boob soreness. This past weekend, AG commented on how large my boobs seem to look now so even he is noticing a change. And they do hurt more. Yesterday at my workout I could barely jog on the spot without holding my boobs in place. Very uncomfortable. Obviously I need to wear a better sports bra when I workout. But now I am noticing that even at times when I let the girls roam free (normally when home alone and in my pjs) they are hurting from just hanging there. 😦
Third, the itch. I think shoving things up my vagina twice a day has caused a minor yeast infection. Or at least that is what I have self diagnosed myself with. Even though I use clean hands every time, it has gotten mighty itchy down there and is a mix of dry and wet at the same time. I am very lubed up, but at the same time it seems so dry and itchy. Such a strange combination. And super uncomfortable.
Am I the only one experiencing this? Anyone have words of wisdom to share? How did you deal with the pill absorption/discharge issue? Should I be worried I am not getting the complete dosage? I feel like there needs to be more information on proper vaginal pill insertion techniques and how to deal with the side effects.
Of course on Friday, right before the hottest days this week, our air conditioner would decide to give out.
On Saturday morning around 10 am our place was a toasty 27*C (that’s over 80*F)! Our A/C unit is located at one end of our balcony and was making all sorts of loud protests with little cool air to show for it. Windows were opened and curtains drawn to keep the sun out.
The A/C unit is just over a year old. We checked the paper work for the condo (we purchased it new from the builder so many things are still under warranty) and confirmed that heating/cooling was covered by a 2 year warranty. Emails were sent to the relevant people informing them of the issue.
But of course since it was right before the sweltering hot weekend, I did not expect to receive a response till Monday. DH was in town for the memorial day long weekend (in an odd twist of fate the apartment he is staying at in MI does not have air conditioning either, so he was looking forward to at least a few cool nights of sleep while home for the weekend. Spoiler alert: air conditioning is not in his future).
And today a rep from our builder (who covers the warranty issues) claimed the warranty had expired at the one year mark. The lawyer in me quickly pulled up the relevant paperwork that clearly indicated a two year warranty and sent them a copy asking them for further clarification. They are now ‘investigating’ to confirm coverage. Apparently this issue has come up more than once and they have been dealing with the A/C installer to figure out the warranty coverage issue. They anticipate it will take a few days before they have an answer for me. (My guess is someone somewhere dropped the ball, and the paperwork we purchasers received does not reflect the actual warranty coverage. As a result, the builder is going to have to pay for the service work out of their pocket.)
In the meantime my poor kitty has to sit and melt all day long (I’ve left him lots of water to drink). And I get to really enjoy this early hit of summer we are having in Ontario. Not that I am complaining. I prefer hot to cold any day. But still it is super annoying to have to deal with things breaking down so soon in a brand new place. I really hope that they fix the problem soon. It does not look like the weather is going to be cooling off anytime soon here and I can only handle so many hot sleepless nights. I may just have to resort to sleeping on the balcony if things don’t improve.
Pomegranate juice shooter with omega-3.
In honour of this Last Mock Cycle Redux I’ve been drinking a cup of fresh pomegranate juice every morning along with a teaspoon of omega-3 oil.
I start with a small shooter to gulp down the oil. And then finish up the rest of the juice mixed with some carbonated water just to make it more palatable.
It’s been about a week of this. And I hate it. It is expensive for one (runs me about $5 for about 1.5 cups of juice). I don’t love the tangy taste of the juice and I definitely don’t like forcing myself to drink an entire glass of it. It actually doesn’t taste that bad. But everyday of this gets really boring for something I am not loving. I really hope this makes a difference in my lining.
Until then. Bottoms up.
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One of my besties messaged me yesterday to let me know she has just found out she has a molar pregnancy.*
She was almost into month 4 of her pregnancy. She had no idea until her first ultrasound appointment this week since the symptoms of a molar pregnancy mimic that of a normal pregnancy (i.e. blood tests, physical symptoms etc. will all indicate a normal pregnancy). It’s one hell of a nasty trick played by the body. And honestly nobody deserves this.
Last we spoke she was being scheduled for an emergency D&C.
She is taking it like a trooper. But needless to say this is incredibly sad news and I am absolutely heartbroken for her. This ‘fertile’ has had a tough go. Her first son was born with down-syndrome when she was 29. That came as a surprise since she was not in the high risk category and it was not expected. She changed her whole life to care for her son. We were both career driven, and she is now a stay at home mom. When they were ready to grow their family a few years later, she miscarried. Her second child was born healthy a few years later, and is doing well. This would have been her third.
I am at a loss as to what I can do for her. I live in a different province so can’t even offer to babysit while she recovers. She says she doesn’t morn the loss of something that was never there. But it was there. Or at least the idea of it was. And it can’t be easy. Loss is never easy, no matter the circumstances.
I haven’t heard from her today and I don’t know if I should reach out just yet. Do I give her time to process this loss, and recover from her D&C? Or do I call her? What do I say? She knows all about my fertility struggles. She has even offered me her eggs if I need them. She is like a sister to me. If we lived close I would have offered to go over and babysit or cook for them while she recovers. But she is half way across the country. What can I do? I just feel absolutely helpless.
*A molar pregnancy is a weird complication where an embryo, due to a problem in the genetic material, stops developing into a fetus, but keeps growing as a mass of cells. Almost like a cancerous growth. It can become very serious if not removed right away,or if cells get left behind and keep growing. Normally treated with a D&C and careful monitoring to ensure no further complications develop.
Day 1 was this weekend. I noticed spotting on Friday night so I made the call to the clinic to let them know. And sure enough Saturday (May 21) I had withdrawal bleed lift off.
At this clinic, I have to call the nursing line and leave a message with my Day 1 date, and they call back within 24 hours to confirm my protocol and to schedule my ultrasound date.
The nurse called on Saturday to confirm I was to start the Estrace, 2mg per vagina, twice a day. I started Saturday morning. For some reason, I hadn’t really thought about what it would be like shoving 2 little blue pills up the wahoo while still bleeding. But I guess you stop being grossed out by vagina things pretty early during this whole process.
Guys, what is up with the colour of the discharge when you have blood and Estrace mixing together? Like I think they need a new name for this colour. Sanguine IVF Blue perhaps? Ok so naming things is not my forte. But this is gross.
The discharge is now a nice clean Estrace blue. Still gross.
Ultrasound is scheduled for June 7 (Day 18 of Estrace).
We had a long weekend in Ontario this weekend.
It was spent attending two separate birthday parties for 1-year olds in two separate countries. And taking full advantage of the (finally) hot weather with a BBQ and swim in my parent’s pool (yes, you may hate me now). Not too shabby for a long weekend.
One of the birthday parties was in Detroit, MI, which also happens to be where DH is currently working for the next few weeks. So I took the opportunity to visit DH. I hitched a ride with my sister (her husband and the nephew) for a quick overnight visit.
The road trip was fun. The birthday parties meh. And the BBQ and swim was divine. I hope the latter shall be repeated many times over this summer.
One highlights of this long weekend was this, somewhere along the highway in Ontario:
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Last night I dreamt Aunt Flo came for a visit. This time she was heavy red and glorious. I know. Kinda lame that I actually dream of a heavy period. But there you go. I even got excited about calling in my next day 1 even though my clothes were all stained and ruined. Thanks POI.
But in reality, nothing yet. Last dose of Pro.vera was about three days ago so I guess anytime now. It’s hard to say it isn’t on my mind. I do want to start this next mock cycle asap so I can start knowing what I am doing for the next year and make some decisions.
I also want to see a heavy(ish) period. Because then that means the lining got thicker. On HRT these past few years I have had really light withdrawal bleeds. Like 2 days and I’m done. I could get away with using a few panty liners for the whole thing. Sometimes it was a full 4 days! I know, crazy town. Some mild cramping but nothing too crazy. And dark blood. Meaning it was old (sat in there too long) not fresh, which according to the naturopath is what I should be looking for. This time I want it to feel different because in some weird way for me it means the mock cycle is working. And in the end that means hope.
I also dreamt (in a separate dream) I saw the managing parter at my old workplace (whom I don’t like very much) while I was at my new workplace or some random library/restaurant version of my workplace. I couldn’t speak with him because I was in the middle of a meeting. So basically I gave him the cold shoulder. So random.
So yeah. I don’t put much stock in my dreams. They are fun to remember, but not sure either of those two will come true anytime soon. But I guess a girl can dream can’t she?
I put a panty liner on today just incase.