Day 21 -> 0.4

Yes again.

I guess this is not good news, but not so bad either. Dr. H did say it might take upto 3 cycles to determine whether my lining is responding properly or not. So I will reserve judgement until the next cycle. I am not looking forward to it though. Along with the psychadelic discharge, I dont enjoy shoving pills up me twice a day. It sucks. I still feel dry so it isnt fun to do. And AG has to deal with a blue penis every time we…you know…! He acts like it doesnt bother him, but I think it might, just a little. It bothers me! I guess we could just use condoms, but we havent used them in forever Im not sure either of us wants to…. we are just lazy like that! 🙂

I am looking forward to a week of no pills next week. Hopefully my v-jay will have time to recover. I swear some days it feels like it just clamps up and doesnt want any more. So wierd. Even AG found me a lot tighter a couple of days ago. Not sure if that is the drugs… it must be.

In other news, I had one of my recurring dreams again. I dont get it often, but I have had some form of this for a while now. I am driving along a long winding or hilly road. This time I have passengers, I believe my brother and sister were in the car with me. I find myself relying on the GPS and not looking at the road. It was dark out. The car is hard to steer and I have to work really hard to keep my car within the lanes on the GPS (almost like I am driving in a video game). All of sudden we see the ground in the GPS crack and fall away from under us, I look up just in time to see we are driving on thin ice, but we are high up in the air. I hit the breaks so we dont fall through, but I have a feeling it is too late. And I force myself to wake up in the middle of the falling sensation. Not fun.

Apparently dreaming of driving is symbolic for my path in life, and the goals I am driving towards. Not sure what the falling through thin ice implies. On other occaisions I have fallen off a bridge into water, or a cliff depending on the dream. But I am always driving, and it is always a long hilly or winding road I am unfamiliar with.

Oh well, back to real life. I have made a promise to myself to work out properly again. 5 days a week is the goal (for short but intense 30 minute sessions each day, (I am going to work out at home using some new DVDs I got). Plus play more tennis and start rock climing (indoors at first). Lets see how far I get with this goal. Im giving myself this summer to get fit again. I am tierd of hating how I look in my clothes and nothing fitting anymore. I lost it before, no reason for me to put it back on again. Hopfully I can keep the motivation!

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