What do pomgranates, mangoes and rabbits have in common? These are all symbols of fertility. Animals and plants are rather popular symbols of fertility. In India it is the Mango, along with the elephant and peacock that are signs of the fruitful. Ancient Egyptians revered cats and frogs. In the Americas the frog pops up again as the patron goddess of fertility and childbirth. Not that I am a superstitious person by any means, nor do I feel that any of these things will help me, but I find this all rather fascinating as I embark on my own fertility journey.
I have known that I would not be able to have children on my own since I was 12. I have been pretty ok with that so far. Naturally when I met my, now husband, I made sure to explain the whole situation to him. Bascially high levels of chemo and radiation therapy left me without a period, (more details on this later). Therefore, no natural ovulation, and no natural conception. While I have not had any burning desire to have my own children, I feel it is rather cruel to expect the same of my husband. He has not said he wants children in so many words, but I can read it in his eyes and his behaviour when he plays with our numerous nieces and nephews.
As of right now we can only assume that the IF bug hasn’t visited my husband. All shall be revealed in good time, I guess, as we begin this journey to see where our options lie.
As of right now we are undecided on whether we want to even try for a child now, or wait a few years. I am on the fence, some days I would love to experience all that comes with pregnancy, child birth and raising my own. However, I am rather happy with the status quo. I have a good job, loving husband, and great extended family all of which I love dearly. I dont feel like there is anything missing. But is this because I haven’t experienced it yet? Or because maybe I am too young to know any better? What I do know is that I want to know my options and thats is what I am setting out to do now. Hopefully my journey can help others.
Heres to blogging catharsis.